The Second Epistle of Elder Lee to President Bracha

In a recent post, I mentioned my plans on recording some of the documents from my past in order to preserve it for my children and any other bored futuristic people who would want to read it. This is one such example. On my mission, when occasion permitted or I was in a whimsical mood, I would write my letters to the mission president in “scripture form.” The following is a picture of an example of one, as well as its contents transcribed.

The Second Epistle of Elder Lee to President Bracha

New investigator found – The debacle concerning Drew’s baptism – Horrible plagues afflict Elder Lee to the depths of humility – Setbacks in ideas for missionary work

1. Elder Lee, servant of our Lord Jesus Christ assigned to labor among the people of Norman, do send greetings and report the happenings of the fourth week of the fifth transfer of the reign of President Bracha.

2. Behold, on the second day of the fourth week, we did meet with a student named Mike, and we did teach him that glorious message of the Restoration.

3. Yea, and we  did see that the work of the adversary is constant among the children of men to thwart the servants of God, for two of Mike’s friends did sit with us in the lesson to try and confound us.

4. They did ask questions, and did say, behold, the Bible doth teach us that revelation hath ceased, that the work of God is finished, and we have no more need for prophets. And in this manner did they speak.

5. But we did confound them in their words, for we did say unto them, if thou believest the things thou hast said, and claim it to be the word of God, ye do greatly err and fail to understand the scriptures which has been given unto you.

6. Behold, the scriptures testify the need of revelation, and of prophets, and they do show that the work of God is not finished, but that it does continue among the children of man and that God hath not ceased to be a God of miracles.

7. And it came to pass that Mike did retire unto his dorm, and he did read and ponder and did seek us out to teach him more of the doctrines of truth. And when we did hear of this, we did rejoice and did set up another appointment in haste.

8. And now, behold, I do speak of that terrible confusion concerning Drew’s baptism, of which thou didst know of. Yea, I tell you of the happenings which occured[sic] after the confusion.

9. Behold, Drew is strengthened daily by the good word of God and does greatly desire to be baptized, and so we did go forth before the bishop with broken hearts and contrite spirits and did humble ourselves before him, submitting ourselves to his counsel, and we do work as one, and we do plan this baptism as one.

10. And behold, we have been humbled considerably and do seek to bring harmony in our doings and the ward’s doings concerning missionary work and do continue to do so, even until the ends of our transfers here in the land.

11. And now, I also speak of that terrible illness that took hold of my body. Yea, my bowels were wracked with pain and I did spew forth the contents of last night’s dinner through my mouth. Yea, my joints did ache and I did cry out in pain.

12. But behold, I did seek out a priesthood blessing, which did cause a quick and speedy recovery, and I do glory in the greatness of God’s mercy.

13. And I did seek the comfort of the Lord through mighty prayer, and did seek strength and endurance of the pain, and it was granted unto me according to his will.

14. And it was the Sabbath when I did endure this awful agony, and so great was my confidence in the Lord that I did not seek out worldly cures for it was unlawful to purchase things then, and behold I was blessed with a speedy recovery.

15. And thus was my testimony strengthened.

16. Behold, I do bring sad tidings concerning our great plans for progressing the work in the land.

17. We did seek to rent the theater in the Student Union to show movies concerning the Restoration and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

18. And we did seek to give three Books of Mormon to each member in the ward – one for their homes, one for their cars, and one for their bags – to give unto their friends, to seek out the Lord’s elect.

19. But it came to pass that all of these activities did require of us much money that we did not possess. And so we did abandon our designs for the time being.

20. And so we did suffer setbacks in the work, but continue to work unto bringing salvation to the children of the Lord, and do labor greatly to bring about the work of our Father.

21. And this we did in the fourth week of the fifth transfer of the reign of President Bracha.

22. And my companion did dwell in a tent.

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5 Comments

Filed under religion, wordsmithing

5 responses to “The Second Epistle of Elder Lee to President Bracha

  1. David

    Ted, you make me laugh! I still have the epistle you wrote Eric and I in the MTC. If I can find that tomorrow, maybe i’ll type that up and email it to you!
    -Teeps

  2. justjillsblog

    I think I have a letter from you in this fashion too. You weren’t -bored- out there, were you? 😉

    And did your companion -really- dwell in a tent, or is that allegorical?

  3. I’ll have to show this to my mom.

    Man, this made me laugh so hard I had tears coming out of my eyes.

  4. Ted

    The companion dwelling in a tent is purely a random Mormon joke. No literal tent-dwelling for us.

  5. Sidney Carton

    I wish I had written letters like this to my Mission President. But, since English was his second language, and his sense of humor would probably not have been tickled by such, it was probably all the better that I did not. Nevertheless, this was brilliant.

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