American Fork, UT – Local residents complain about graffiti vandalizing public buildings, but you won’t find anyone complaining about one graffiti-laden bathroom stall at the nearby American Fork Walmart. Residents have expressed gratitude to the unknown punks who scrawl such subversive and politically charged messages such as “F— globalization” and “Why don’t people question what the TV says? You’re all sheeple!”
“Usually, you have people writing dirty messages, or saying ‘Eff this’ or ‘Eff that’ or ‘I hate the cops,’ or maybe a crude pictograph of bodily functions and parts. But the messages being written on the stall walls of the bathroom are very intellectual and informative,” according to Walmart night shift custodial manager Robert Garlow.
“Here’s one of my favorites. It’s very eloquent and it really speaks of the corrosion of journalistic integrity in the day of 24 hour cable news and entertainment talk shows: ‘F— the S—heads on FOX, CNN, and MSNBC.’ Really brilliant, if you ask me,” Gallow said, as he pointed out some graffiti to curious Walmart customers.
Other favorite passages of locals include “If you don’t like this country, immigrants, than I suggest you work through legitimate channels of the government to enact change within the system rather than pursuing a self-destructive, delusional philosophy of fighting the system, thus legitimizing the demoralizing and demonizing rhetoric directed towards your demographic, F—ers,” as well as “Liberals suck money out of the government budget and the paychecks of American taxpayers through rampant, uncontrollable and unaccountable government spending like they suck my [smudged and covered by additional graffiti].”
Talk has been made to preserve the bathroom stall walls as a work of art, and several local museums have started to bid on it, hoping to make an exhibition that guarantees success as the radical bathroom graffiti makes it fame in local circles.
However, not everyone is happy about the discovery of these now famous bathroom stalls, specifically what this implies. Semi-famous blogger Mark Kelly has commented, “The fact that America’s most intellectually stimulating conversations happen through graffiti in bathroom stalls shows how the public discourse of America has collapsed. This is all clearly the fault of the recently deposed and defunct Bush Administration.”