Senator accuses America of being racist against racists who hate racists against racism

(WASH.,D.C.) – In a stunning news conference, Republican Senator White from Oregon accused Americans with racism, because “they are constantly calling racism on cases that simply aren’t racist. By being hypersensitive to a racism that doesn’t exist, they perpetuate racism.” This was called in response to Sonia Sotomayor’s comments of the “wise Latina” as a possible Justice in the Supreme Court.

White commented on what he called a “woeful state” where “Americans will protect racist comments by saying those who are against racist comments are racist, and so they are actually the racist ones. The truth is, we have beat back a lot of inequality, and racism really isn’t a problem anymore – except when it is.”

When questioned on if this is just a manifestation of guilt from Americans for tragedies committed in the past, White said, “Many people don’t understand that we’re passed that. We don’t have slaves anymore, or internment camps. So minorities need to move on. And because they need to move on, we need to pretend this kind of stuff ever existed. And we especially need to stop pretending that minorities have unique experiences in their lives inherent in their very status of minority. The very notion is just ridiculous.”

Senator White continued, “I mean, no African American is or ever was a slave. And they certainly aren’t a victim of the prepetuation of systematic and institutionalized racism, discrimination and suppression by the majority populace even 100 years after the Civil War when Lincoln freed the slaves. Because we as America are past that, so it’s like it never happened, right? Might I also add, Lincoln was a Republican, and even he knew America’s past racism. Why would he free all the slaves otherwise?”

In response to Sonia Sotomayor’s “wise Latina” remarks, many Republicans blasted Obama’s choice for a possible future Justice in the Supreme Court, calling Sotomayor’s comments on how her Latina experience has enriched her life and outlook as racist. This brought about a firestorm of controversy as groups representing minorities fought back, calling the accusations “false,” “based on fearmongering,” and “most likely Bush’s fault.”

“Look, it’s just another example of the white man suppressing any other lifestyle or experience that is foreign to his,” one annonymous lobyist who works for several minority groups said. “The fact is, the minority life does enrich Americans; it teaches them the realities involving the American Dream. Sad to say, but white people just don’t get it.”

The press conference has added fuel to the fire, as evidenced by the recent coverage and activity of this event on the blogosphere. “This is the problem with America,” semi-famous blogger Mark Kelly from Kent, Washington wrote, “We’re too busy trying to find racism in racist comments about racist comments concerning racist comments related to racist comments countering racist comments about racism, especially since racism doesn’t exist in America anymore. I mean, where do all these racist people come from?”

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